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Post by demikara on May 5, 2020 13:41:17 GMT -6
"I don't get it either." Aerilyn admitted quietly "I don't understand what's going through her mind at all. But I know that the entire trial doesn't hinge on you Ahmad. They'd have prosecuted her without your input." He was ridiculously strong doing this. She wished he could see that. Strength didn't come without struggle after all. "And I'll go off world and you'll finally get to see her. And when you do, they'll let you hug her and you'll probably cry all over her." She teased gently. "And she'll hug you back and call you Mr. Fazari because she can't seem to bear to use our first names."
Not unless she was being very serious or she wanted something. And it worked every time too. "We'll make it through this Ahmad. We will."
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Post by Ylanne on May 5, 2020 14:40:22 GMT -6
"I sure hope so," he said, glum, unable to even so much as look Aerilyn directly in the eye. "I don't want to think about the alternative." He eyed the rest of the soup with open suspicion. His stomach grumbled in protest. None of it would be making it down, he suspected. Or staying down. "I don't want to think about seeing her... in prison though. It's just. It's horrifying." With his eyes shut, he could imagine the old woman in some dank, dark cell with a filthy floor, like a medieval dungeon - or maybe it would be so bright the light hurt, sanitized, with any trace of humanity wiped cleanly away. In this imagined scene, she was tiny, dwarfed by the space around her, surrounded by unknown menaces waiting for any opportunity to strike. He wondered if the reality wasn't too far off on this. She'd always had enemies. She'd survived countless assassination attempts. It would have to be easier for someone to get to her inside now. If they just paid the right bribe. Ahmad shuddered.
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Post by demikara on May 5, 2020 14:44:42 GMT -6
"The prison...its not as bad as it could be." Aerilyn assured him. "You'll get used to seeing her there, however horrific that sounds. And once she's sentenced, she'll be in a longer term facility. We'll be able to get her some of her own things." And it would be okay. They just had to wait until then. She was sure to be found guilty after all. There was no doubt on that case. "She's in no shape for forced labor or anything like that. So she may need our help, to buy some things. They charge for everything there after all. But we'll be there to help her out."
They could do this. They would do this and it would be okay. They weren't going to forget her, trapped in prison or not.
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Post by Ylanne on May 6, 2020 15:36:03 GMT -6
"What do you mean, they charge for things?" Ahmad scrunched his face, twisting his features tightly together. He was still hearing his voice as if from a distance. He opened his eyes now, looking directly at Aerilyn beside him, fuzzy in the low light now. "When you're in prison, the government is supposed to take care of you... I assume. And she. Director Drulović needs help. I've seen the pictures. I'm afraid of ... I'm afraid you haven't said just how bad it really is going to be, when I have to see her tomorrow." His stomach lurched again. He didn't want to imagine the old woman put to work at hard labor. "And then there's the question of, how it's going to be for her in the future, if that's where she ends up... Someone could kill her. Actually do it this time." He heard his voice breaking, and he balled his hands into tight fists, digging his short nails as far as he could into flesh. He could almost feel them.
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Post by demikara on May 6, 2020 16:28:37 GMT -6
"They'll have extra security. They won't have a choice, not really. And she looks...She's lost a lot of weight Ahmad. She looks old and frail. She looks weak." It was hard to say but it was true. She hesitated a moment. "She's changed a lot. The torture, the lack of...she's just changed a lot. they should have let her recover in the hospital. And you know how she is about pain killers. It just made everything longer. I think she may still be in pain too."
She held him close. "You're going to be shocked, when you first see her. You'll probably want to cry, my handsome crybaby. Bring tissues." He cried easily, in comparison. But there was reason to cry, under the circumstances.
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Post by Ylanne on May 6, 2020 16:47:53 GMT -6
Ahmad was crying now. Little drops of moisture lined the edges of his eyes, sliding slowly over his cheeks, and, cheeks flushing, he pressed his sleeve to his face to try to wipe them away. "I don't want to see her die, or to help that happen any faster than it already will," he said, hearing his words as if someone else were speaking them. "She doesn't deserve to die helpless somewhere. No matter what." The general consensus at the agency was that she didn't deserve to be prosecuted and imprisoned at all. But she'd refused overtures to assist in arranging any escape, faking her death, or attempting to bribe, intimidate, or blackmail any of the responsible officials. Remembering hearing about that, in whispers, near the garden, Ahmad cried more. "I don't want to do this. I don't want to see her looking... weak or old. I don't want to see her like... the way I saw in pictures the other day." Led by officers, shackled at the wrists and ankles, like an unruly animal on a farm or at a zoo somewhere. He couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. He didn't want to speak it into existence.
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Post by demikara on May 7, 2020 11:51:36 GMT -6
Aerilyn held him quietly, and kissed his forehead. "She won't let anyone stop her." Aerilyn pointed out quietly. "She's determined to do this Ahmad. I don't think we can stop her at all." Despite how they might want to. "She doesn't hold you doing this against you though. Just. Just remember that." It would help, she hoped. Aerilyn held him close.
She hated seeing Arianne look like this, hated seeing her looking broken and imprisoned and old. Tears lined her own eyes as well. "You'll get through this, my love. You'll get through this."
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Post by Ylanne on May 7, 2020 13:16:54 GMT -6
Ahmad stayed with Aerilyn like that for hours. He rocked gently in her arms, his eyes closed, leaning into her, slowly feeling more of his body return to himself. He wondered what it would be like to fade into the black of night, to melt into the shadows, to disappear his own physical presence. Eventually, long after they'd both fallen asleep, somehow migrating from the couch to the bed, Ahmad started awake with eyes so wide they seemed nearly to bulge out of his skull. He'd seen Drulović's face in his dreams, almost close enough to touch, before the image seemed to waver, like she was a hologram on a faulty connection or trapped underwater, and then with a final flicker, she'd disappeared. She'd whispered something to him, inaudible, and he'd screamed. Someone was hurting her. In the dream, she still had both her ears.
Ahmad padded softly across the floor, finally shrugging off his work clothes from the day before, and stood in the bathtub, throwing on the hot shower. He turned the heat as high as it could go, until it felt almost like the water was stabbing his flesh. Steam filled the entire bathroom, fogging the window and obscuring even his reflection in the mirror hanging from the showerhead. He imagined the heat scouring his guilt and his weakness off his skin.
It was only six in the morning, and daylight had just begun to stream through the window.
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Post by demikara on May 12, 2020 13:39:38 GMT -6
Aerilyn stirred when he left and let a little wordless grumble loose. It wasn't until the shower came on though that she yawned and sat up. What time was it. Grabbing her phone from the side table, she frowned as she saw how early it was. It was too early for this, but she knew she wasn't getting back to sleep. Today was the day, wasn't it? Or one of the days. Ahmad testified today and that was going to be surreal. She'd be waiting in the courtroom for him though, watching and being there for him.
Her poor husband. How was he going to make it through the day. She yawned again and put her hearing aid in, flicking it on half heartedly and digging through her closet for yet another day's smart court clothes. Annoyed, she settled on one of her usual dresses that she had usually been a bouncer in. They were nice enough after all, so long as she wore a cardigan.
She pulled her tights on first though and resisted the urge to yawn a third time. Coffee. They both needed coffee. More asleep than not, she stumbled down to the kitchen.
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Post by Ylanne on May 12, 2020 14:02:05 GMT -6
Ahmad stayed in the shower for a near record thirty minutes, until it felt almost as if the water had flayed the skin from his bones. Reddened, perspiring, and beginning to flake as he toweled himself off, his skin looked a motley wretch. He ran a comb through his hair with reluctance, at first barely touching the curls, but then hacking at them with forceful blows, less combing the hair than beating it into submission. His lower lip curled into a silent snarl as he stared at the blurred reflection, obscured by the steam from the shower that covered the entire mirror in a fine mist. He dressed himself first in the formal black suit, and then cast it off, throwing the jacket and pants to the floor. He didn't want to look like he was at some black tie event, too serious. He put on the navy blue suit instead, but then saw how rumpled it was, and shrugged it off too, returning to the black suit he'd grabbed first. The suits he never wore. He'd almost forgotten the black suit was there. Well. Black was what you wore to funerals around here. How appropriate.
"Fuck it."
He threw on the jacket again, and then reached for a tie, fumbling with the knot until it finally hung more or less in the right spot, looking at himself in the mirror, in the suit and tie, but without shoes or socks, his bare toes curling into the carpet. Ahmad scowled, hunting through one of the drawers until he found a pair of black socks that mostly matched. He buckled a nearly pristine belt that he almost never touched, and grabbed the dress shoes from a box under a stack of haphazardly folded t-shirts, shoving his feet one at a time inside them. Their angular shape reminded him of coffins, the old-fashioned kind. He paused, standing there, and then, feeling shame rise to his cheeks, reached into one of the pouches in the closet and grabbed a set of tasbih. He hadn't been praying salah in months now, not with any regularity anyway. He wondered if maybe God had forgotten him. He shoved the tasbih into the inner jacket pocket, and plodded down the stairs from the second floor.
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Post by demikara on May 12, 2020 14:09:59 GMT -6
There was coffee and eggs. And turkey bacon. Aerilyn was cradling a cup like it was a gift from God, and she managed a weak smile. "Morning." He looked like he was going to a funeral. This felt like one. She shuffled over and bussed his cheek. "I made coffee and breakfast. I'm still waking up though. It's early." And they were both stressed. This was not going to be fun. She wasn't thrilled with the day at all. "We have time before we need to go though, so there's plenty of time to take it slow."
If he could. It had certainly been a long shower and she was pretty certain he had used all the hot water. He looked miserable. She didn't blame him.
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Post by Ylanne on May 12, 2020 14:57:02 GMT -6
Ahmad stared with hungry eyes at the table. He hadn't even been awake enough to process the scents from the eggs and turkey bacon when still upstairs. He sank into one of the chairs, mindlessly biting into one of the pieces of bacon, not even able to appreciate the satisfying crunch from the crispy end. "Thanks," he said, finally reaching for the coffee pot to pour some into the empty cup at his place. There was a small chip on the handle he'd never noticed before. "You didn't have to make food though... I could have made something. Maybe." Though at the moment he very much wanted to lie down and maybe die. "Did you use a meal kit?" He raised an eyebrow, trying to joke, but then the words only sounded hollow, again. He drank some of the coffee, his hand shaking a little as he lifted the mug to his lips, letting the scathing hot liquid all but scald his taste buds. "Maybe there's still time to fake my death before we go down to Government Center."
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Post by demikara on May 14, 2020 8:48:11 GMT -6
"I can make eggs and bacon." She protested. "I mean. They're kind of plain, but I can make it." She couldn't cook well, but she could do some basics. "And there's no time to fake your death, love. Besides, I'm a terrible actor. I'd never manage to pretend to mourn you." She kissed his cheek and smiled weakly. "Your part will be over, after today." She assured him gently and stayed close to him.
"Then we just wait for the sentencing. And we already know what that will be. They'll sentence her to jail time long enough that she won't get out." And that was definitely said with heavy bitterness. "So they can be seen doing something." That was the important part wasn't it? That the government be seen doing something, regardless of the majority of what she had done having been done before the government even existed.
The entire thing was ridiculous. They should have just made her retire or retire and do house arrest.
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Post by Ylanne on May 14, 2020 9:09:57 GMT -6
Ahmad swallowed the rest of the coffee, blinking back tears of pain as he felt the coffee burning his tongue numb. He shoved another piece of bacon into his mouth, chewing, then swallowing. He reminded himself to chew. Chew, then swallow. His stomach lurched and he grimaced. "There's no fucking point to any of this, then," he said, his voice catching in his throat again. "Not if the outcome is predetermined. Not if there's no actual chance. It's not a trial. It's just a ... a show. A fucking show, then. And everyone has their scripted parts. Entrances, exists, lines to say, one act to another." He slammed the coffee mug on the table. "That's not who Terra is supposed to be. That's not what we're supposed to be about. If there's no chance she could be OK out of this, why even bother? Why not just kidnap her, or - or - or kill her. Why. Why drag it out like this, and drag all the rest of us into it?"
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Post by demikara on May 14, 2020 10:11:04 GMT -6
"Hell if I know. They just want to put on a show to make themselves look good. Maybe they think it will get them re-elected or something." She hated this. "As far as I'm concerned, the point of this is to keep you out of prison. Those bastards are going to do whatever they feel like. Terra isn't exactly...Supposedly this shows no one is above the law. But it's...it's just a show. I hate it." They were supposed to be better than this.
They weren't. Terra wasn't a kind place and it wasn't a safe place and this made it no kinder or safer.
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